Chapter Twenty-Nine

This chapter begins with a description of Abnegation initiation, which is a quiet affair that involves community service and feet washing--which I think is a symbolic thing? In another book it was a great act of familial protectiveness when a brother washed his disfigured sister's feet. So, is that a thing? Is there a specific foot-washing reference in history or tradition? I wonder.

Anyway, initiation day is upon us and the book begins to pick up again. Tris picks out food without thinking and she realizes that she picked the plainest selection possible.

"Abnegation is what I am. It is what I am when I'm not thinking about what I'm doing. It is what I am when I am put to the test. It is what I am even when I appear to be brave. Am I in the wrong faction?"

"He who defines himself

can't know who he really is."

I can't think of a better way to describe the majority of the inner turmoil I see within Tris besides this portion 

of chapter 24 of the Tao Te Ching--the whole book really. Joining a faction decides what you are, but people can't define themselves. We're too complex for that. There's too many  variables--no one can fit the mold outlined by someone else. That's why Tris doesn't belong, because she has preconceived notions of what belonging means--in their world, belonging takes priority over being, and humans can't live that way.

She goes into focus mode before her fear landscape tuning out all else and soon, it's her turn. Is she ready? Of course she is; she is Divergent.