Final Reflection

Though I am quick and eager to be done with this project (the perks of doing 75% of it in one sitting) I return for a final installment.

Divergent was by no means a bad book, especially when you consider that it's Roth's first book. It was smooth, thought provoking and pleasant enough on the first read. The concepts are good, but on a second read the plot becomes rushed; the characters, weak. The most solid characters are probably Peter, Christina, and Uriah--all who would have provided better mains, in my opinion, but hey--not my book. If the book stayed more to analyzing humans at their core I would have enjoyed it unbelievably more. Once Tobias and Tris got together it went down hill, and I really came to dislike both characters.

One month =/= love. 
One month can equate to limerence. One month can equate infatuation. One month can equate hormonal lust. (Two of which are more likely than the other).

On a chemical level, love can't come that quickly. Your brain has to rewire itself, must receive reciprocation (unless it's aggression affection) and your serotonin takes time to drop. This was one of my biggest issues with the book. I HATE "love" that comes on too quickly, too strongly, or unnecessarily. Tris and Tobias don't even spend very much time getting to know each other, and only have a few meaningful isolated conversations throughout the text but she equates her emotional loss of him to the physical loss of her mother.

Maybe I could stomach it if it hadn't been for that, but that completely destroyed Tris in my eyes. I have my own reasons for thinking so, but a parent who sacrifices any amount for their child, let alone their life, is an example of a saint. Tobias is just a boy, whom--I predict in the third book--she will have a falling out with because she's 16. Family is forever, by choice or otherwise, and Tris had something beautiful, that she quite honestly took for granted. 

The weakest part of this book is it's character development. The sentences are simple, but varied enough to guide eyes through text. No vocabulary was particularly challenging and descriptions were clear. Roth did a great job of creating a solid world by tying in elements that the reader--especially midwestern ones like ourselves--could affiliate with. It made the scenario imaginable and ponderous. Her only fault was the characters she made to fill her world, which were rather flat and sloppy. She has emotion there, but she doesn't convey it very well in my opinion.

Int the end, it's her first novel, and it's extraordinary for the amount of experience she has. It's not a book that's unpleasant to read, but becomes more so upon deep inspection. I would recommend it to people looking for a thought-provoking read around my age and lexile level. It's not hard, and is easy on the eyes and mind.

I'd give it a 7.2 out of 10, as after the fact, it simply wasn't my cup of tea.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I still have not slept, with a 9:34 AM time tag and whooooooooo, I'll admit I'm a bit cynical when it comes to this book. I blame the grumpiness, but nonetheless this is the final entry, and the final chapter.

Love pulls him out of his simulation, or rather, limerence because I literally refuse to call it love. At the sound of her voice he fights of the nanotechnology coursing through his veins and comes to just in time to save shooting her in the head--when really, shooting him in the foot would have been a lot less dangerous. They take the data and destroy the simulation and go back to meet the rest of the group--or at least, what remains.

Tobias and Marcus are pretty tense but Tris is hardly in the mood for the old man's nonesense and pulls out the sass. They hop on a train, injured in tow, and head toward Amity to meet the rest of the Abnegation refuges. Dauntless is destroyed, divided into rebels and Erudite sympathizers, but that comes in later on. Right now, all they can do is escape and wait for the next move by Jeanine Matthews. 

"I reach into my pocket and take out the hard drive that contains the simulation data. I turn it in my hands, letting it catch the fading light and reflect it. Marcus's eyes cling greedily to the movement. 'Not safe,' I think. 'Not quite.'"

This leads to some major development for the second book, but I am hardly the type for spoilers--or coherent enough after this amount of sleep intoxication to get into that. With the ordeal over, now orphaned--but not boyfriendless, of course, Tris falls asleep leaving it open for the first real look at Amity. 

And what a "peaceful" coughdruggedup place it is.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Tobias and Tris are forced to fight because Tobias is heavily influenced by the simulation. She stands no chance against someone more experienced and zoned out while heavily injured and emotionally distraught. She has a gun, and she can shoot him--though she thinks she can't, but she won't. 

"I can't kill him. I am not sure if I love him; not sure if that's why."

Now. if I haven't complained enough about her irrationality toward Tobias-- UGH. She kills Will without a thought, she kills the guards without feeling--but when it's her boyfriend of a whole like, two days, suddenly it's a great internal struggle. I can't say I'd be without conflict, but if the lives of literally hundreds of people depended on it, I'd shoot him in the darned leg or something; but, instead she hands over the gun. 

Self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice--when it's convenient. 

Okay, I'll be honest. Tris isn't my favorite character, not by a long shot, and it only worsens in the second book and I remain, having read that, that this relationship is destructive, and founded on very little. 

:I

With a barrel to her head, the chapter ends.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The group consists of Tris, Caleb, Marcus and Andrew Prior. They don't have time to come up with a formal plan so pretty much they're going to wing it and hope for the best. Marcus spends time criticizing her choice like it's really the time for that but she responds with, "There were some things that I had to learn. Like how to be selfless, [bravery and selflessness] are often the same thing." Hurray for humanity! Divergence is basically a normal human mind as we know it, and it's nice to see the neuro-typical addressed in a positive light.

After jumping off the train just like the first day of Dauntless initiation they all hop down the netted hole--though Andrew can't quite keep his lunch down afterward. While sneaking through the compound they happened across Peter who isn't prepared to be jumped and is easily disarmed. He has been removed because he's seemed loyal enough, but Tris uses it as a chance to call him a murderer.

He does assert that he is not! And this much is true! There is nothing to suggest the he truly did kill anyone, or that he is capable. Puppy Peter remains, but gets shot in the arm.

Tris and her father argue about that, and Marcus chimes in with, "Sometimes pain is for the greater good."
This of course doesn't sit well with the girlfriend of his abused son but she doesn't have time to think about that. They fight their way up toward the control room that lies just beyond the fear landscape simulation room but he father becomes a casualty. 

Their last moments together are spent fighting and he has final words toward her that he never gets out.

Nothing could possibly be worse than that feeling, even facing Tobias under the simulation. Screw that; losing her parents definitely should be more damaging.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Tris is closely pursued by Dauntless soldiers, but only one makes it close enough to harm her: Will. She shoots without thinking, out of means of survival. The bullet lands right between his eyes and it destroys her just as much as it kills him. Her response to Al and Will's deaths are completely different, even though she feels at fault for them both. Will's death isn't chosen by himself, his is unfair. She decided that her life was worth more than his and this selfishness will come to eat her alive.

"He smiles in my memory. A curled lip.Straight teeth. Light in his eyes. Laughing, teasing, more alive in my memory than I am in reality. It was him or me. I chose me. But I feel dead too."

This pretty much what I just said, but Roth uses fragments to show a distraught state of mind again; artfully done, and I really like it.

She makes it to the safe house and Caleb pulls her in. Her father removes the bullet and sews up the wound-surprisingly intelligent of him, wink--and they are reunited. She grins and bears the pain saying that, "Of all the pain I have suffered today--the pain of getting shot and almost drowning, and taking the bullet out again, the pain of finding and losing my mother and Tobias, this is the easiest to bear."

This is a lovely sentence, great parallelism--well written, but the mention of Tobias cheapens it beyond  belief for me. She has known him for a month and she put him on the same level as the mother that died for her? Oh no, no, no. There's such a bitter taste to that. Realistically speaking their chemicals were not anywhere near mixed frequently enough for it to be love. It a crush. It is infatuation. It may be love later on, but at this juncture it is not; it is hormones. And her words just... ruin the beautiful parental sacrifice. 

The survivors devise a plan, half to flee to Amity half to shut down the simulation. Tris apparently has nothing else to lose, so she leads the ground without fear.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Tris wakes up in a tank that's eerily familiar. Sucks to have a guy like Eric as your instructor, after all. She's practically bleeding out already and she goes in hysterics. She is only sixteen; this isn't the sort of thing she's cut out for. She attempts to thrash her way out but that's impossible. Instead, she makes a statement in accepting her death just the way it is. She lets go of everything, and he mind turns toward God.

In the Tao Te Ching it is made clear that the Tao flows in everything, and water is referenced several times. The only way to touch the Tao is to let go of attachments--to seek it without a goal in mind, and those that can touch the Tao are given the greatest peace that no one can even fathom. The God alluded to is the Christian god, but I think that anyone of any religion can affiliate with the ideas of finding their higher power in the moments before death.

But death does not come. Instead the glass shatters and her mother is there, out of sorts, and holding a gun. She makes the connection a second time that her mother was never truly Abnegation and is calmly directed toward a safe house. Divergent as she may be, her mother is without fear, and truly Dauntless, and sacrifices her life to save her daughter. I honestly cried like a baby over this. No matter what it is, paternal sacrifice always chokes me up and makes me feel extremely introspective. 

Beatrice has no time to process the events: being saved, her mother's tattoo, the soldiers--her death--all of it happens so quickly that it is little more than a blur.

"Maybe Eric is right," she thinks, "Maybe death is like exploring the unknown; but, somehow I find the strength to stand up and start running.
I am brave."

She chooses life. She chooses to make something of her mother's sacrifice, and the was when Tris was redeemed in my eyes.

Chapter Thirty-Four

We meet our antagonist a second time and this time she speaks more--she is cruel, cold, and sarcastic, but so is Tobias, give or take. They banter with one another with some smart and snide comments until Jeanine gets angry. Tobias refuses to be broken by her words meanwhile Tris is dizzy with blood loss from a gunshot wound to her shoulder. 

Jeanine is actually one of the weaker descriptions that Roth has. Tris' description of her attitude and her words simply don't match up. "She is more machine than maniac. She sees problems and she finds systematic solutions to them." Yet, Roth gives her speech a rather emotive quality. Her criticism of Abnegation--using simple words like "idiot" just doesn't strike me as that of the most intelligent person in their entire society? He presence is strong, but he description is rather sloppy.

Either way, Jeanine monologues a bit about a serum that is immune to Divergence, deciding Tobias would make a perfect test as Tris is too injured to be of any use. Tobias tries to strike her but he's out numbered. Jeanine shoves the needle in his neck and he falls under, even ready to attack Tris as he loses his sense of surrounding and reasoning.

Tris describes her reaction as, "I feel numb inside, but outside I am a screaming, thrashing force of will."

Another A+ Sentence by Veronica Roth. 

Chapter Thirty-Three

Tris is too late to warn Tobias about the simulation and when she tries to tell Christina and Will they're already under. Everyone is under the simulation--and are essentially sleepwalking to the tune that Erudite computers are drumming out. Horrified, Tris can only attempt to match their robotic movements and not be noticed. Her mind is erratic and working in overdrive as she processes the entire plan laid out before her. She searches for Tobias, only to find him blank-faced like the rest.

Luckily, he's a good actor. 

Tris marches along and recognizes sights from her childhood, noting that "They are so different now. The buildings are dark and empty, and the roads packed with Dauntless soldiers. This isn't the home I know."
I follow a blog on tumblr where a man makes up words for human emotions that we don't have words for in English--or any language. I thought immediately of one of the words he coined when I read this:

kenopsia

n. the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet—a school hallway in the evening, an unlit office on a weekend, vacant fairgrounds—an emotional afterimage that makes it seem not just empty but hyper-empty, with a total population in the negative, who are so conspicuously absent they glow like neon signs.

It's not quite the same, but similar enough to make a connection

The massacre on Abnegation ground begins and Tris and Tobias can only fall in time with mindless soldiers. That is,  until Eric decides that Four might be better off dead. Tris responds without thinking, as if on auto-pilot and threatens to shoot him. Her conscience won't let her shoot him in the head but she does shoot him in the foot. Four shoots his friend and the run for dear life, standing out like sore thumbs against a perfect matching order.

But, capture is inevitable. They are caught in a matter of minutes.

Chapter Thirty-Two

The pair of love birds split and Tris reunites with Christina and Will. They discuss their fears and future ambitions and the cutest line of the entire book is put forward as Christina's fear of moths is dropped into the open, "That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls." I absolutely adored this line and so did the entire tumblr fandom. The Divergent tag is fiiiiilled with it.

Ah, such a cute couple--such a cute... short-lived couple.

Compare and contrast time!

Cons of FourTris:

• They flirt in the worst ways ever
• They seem to get off of danger???
• Masochistic self-sacrifice is an innate trait of them both
• They're in waaaaaaaaay too deep for 30 days of know each other

Pros of Willtrina: 

• Their situation is the same
• Their relationship is light-hearted and not serious considering they have also known each other for a month
• They have contrasting and complementing qualities
• They (hopefully) wouldn't spend like 4 pages making out on a train

Okay, I'll step off my soap box now. Tris comes in first and Molly and Drew find themselves factionless. There's lots of celebrating and she kisses Tobias openly, and everything is wonderful--that is, until she comes to realize why strange injections are a bad idea.

And, the rest of the book pretty much broke my heart.

Chapter Thirty-One

Post evaluation Eric congratulates Tris but stops to give her an injection. Now, these serums have always made me queasy. I'd, of course, conform if I was brought up in their world, but somehow, injecting nanotechnology into the bloodstream just seems like a bad idea. Perhaps it's the blood infection talking but there are SO many ways for that to go wrong and and in the neck especially--talk about possible paralysis. 

That aside, it's really creepy, and even Tris picks up on that vibe. Eric is obscenely calm and collected, which gives him a creepy air. He's just all sorts of creepy, okay. I'm a bit of an ex-anime junkie, and every time she talks about his piercings I was reminded of a character but I couldn't remember who until right now--

Meet Levi from Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Aka, Eric if he was a cartoon.

And for a more human connection--given, this is a girl, but you know.

Anyway, that tidbit aside, Tobias joins Tris to congratulate her. They go back to his room and share an intimate moment involving examining each other's tattoos and Tobias shares that he believes all the factions have traits that all people should have all at the same time. So, like a regular human-being? Woah! Satire aside, this is actually a very big concept that's explored in the second book--but, I digress.

Tris responds with, "It doesn't work that way. When one bad thing goes away, another bad thing comes and takes it place."

I feel like I have a nasty habit of responding to quotations with quotations--but I'll do so anyway.

"When people see some things as beautiful,

other things become ugly.

When people see some things as good,

other things become bad. 

Being and non-being create each other.

Difficult and easy support each other.

Long and short define each other.

High and low depend on each other.

Before and after follow each other."

This is a concept very early in the Tao Te Ching, but I think this is the circle she's talking about. We cannot have good without bad, and vice versa. It was we consider as good and bad that's subject to change. Nothing is good or bad, nor beautiful or ugly, nor difficult or easy,  unless defined by a person by the other. Tris is looking for the bad, and so it exists.

She reflects a bit more and they kiss, before parting ways to prepare for the banquet. 

Chapter Thirty

Tris goes through her fear landscape, filled with the same fears we already. She finds that each represents more than what it seems.

The crows represent control--or rather, the fear of not being in control.
The inability to escape the tank is the fear of being weak, and having it on display.
The ocean is also the fear of lacking control.
The Peter centric fear represents her fear of not being accepted into Dauntless, and it seems like a fear of ignominy  which of course, would make sense for someone who has to hide all she does.
Her fear of intimacy... Is, well, a fear of intimacy. 
Shooting her family represents her fear of them falling apart--and her decision to die shows that she will do anything to hold them together and close.

"Selflessness and bravery aren't that different."

If there was any indicator that Tobias was totally Divergent it was that line, both when he actually said it, and when it comes to her mind in the face of using her Divergence. It was a fast paced chapter, but it gave us a good look into the more solid parts of Tris' characters--the deeper parts that won't change with simple changes in serotonin and oxytocin production.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

This chapter begins with a description of Abnegation initiation, which is a quiet affair that involves community service and feet washing--which I think is a symbolic thing? In another book it was a great act of familial protectiveness when a brother washed his disfigured sister's feet. So, is that a thing? Is there a specific foot-washing reference in history or tradition? I wonder.

Anyway, initiation day is upon us and the book begins to pick up again. Tris picks out food without thinking and she realizes that she picked the plainest selection possible.

"Abnegation is what I am. It is what I am when I'm not thinking about what I'm doing. It is what I am when I am put to the test. It is what I am even when I appear to be brave. Am I in the wrong faction?"

"He who defines himself

can't know who he really is."

I can't think of a better way to describe the majority of the inner turmoil I see within Tris besides this portion 

of chapter 24 of the Tao Te Ching--the whole book really. Joining a faction decides what you are, but people can't define themselves. We're too complex for that. There's too many  variables--no one can fit the mold outlined by someone else. That's why Tris doesn't belong, because she has preconceived notions of what belonging means--in their world, belonging takes priority over being, and humans can't live that way.

She goes into focus mode before her fear landscape tuning out all else and soon, it's her turn. Is she ready? Of course she is; she is Divergent.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AND FINALLY, A BREAK FROM MUSH FOR SOME CALEB. Mm, some sweet Caleb page time. (I implore forgiveness for the rest of my blog posts, they're after the 2 AM mark, and my filter is gone). Needing to go her own way for a bit, Tris leaves the compound despite the rules and hops on a train to the Erudite compound.  She storms into the main library like she owns the place and demands to see a Caleb Prior, but luckily he finds her before she causes too much of a scene. He hurries her away and she's still stunned by the presence of glasses on his face.

They speak underneath the bean, which, having seen it with a bunch of fun art students last year is weird to think about covered in rust and deserted. Of course, upkeeping art wouldn't be the Erudite's first priority, but my little artistic heart aches to think about what would have happened to all of the pieces of priceless art in Chicago. Like, really, ouch. I'm sure any history buffs would feel the same to think how little seems to be left of the world long before theirs and ours alike.

They begin to quarrel as Caleb tries to defend his decision but Tris has bigotry burned into her mind from their father's speeches. All she knows is that the Erudite are seen as the worst of all and the enemies of the Abnegation faction she misses and that he brother is a traitor. She can't cope with the difference so she lashes out and Caleb, calm as an Erudite should be, tells her to leave.

She gets picked up by some officials and brought straight to the queen bee--Jeanine Matthews--herself.  She lies through her teeth when the woman asks questions that are clearly aimed at outing her divergence  and is brought back to a less-than-enthused Eric. Four jumps in and makes up a story about how she tried to kiss him and was rejected getting a rather loud and long--and soooo very fake--laugh from the other instructor. He leaves them and they have something to the effect to a makeup and exchange some soft words. He tells her that she is strong and she thinks to herself

"At home it was Caleb who was strong, because he could forget himself, because all the characteristics my parents came naturally to him. No one has ever been so convinced of my strength."

E x c e p t  f o r   P e t e r.

But you know, of course she doesn't pick up on that. 

They make it facebook official minus the facebook and at the same time Christina and Will become an item. Tris only congratulates her, and doesn't disclose her own relationship status just yet. It's too much, just then. We find out about Christina's adorable moth fear and then Tobias and Tris take a train ride to talk about something top secret: A war. Erudite vs. Abnegation until one or the other falls to ruin.

And, thus the beginnings of the emotional roller coaster came to climb.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

And thus, Tris goes through another dramatic change. This time, to an elated teenage girl, light with limerence. I'll admit, I'm no better when I have a limerent object, but I just remain that their situation is different. They live in a world where they are instilling human nature with planned obsolescence  I feel if she is mentally deprived, she shouldn't be so...focused on boys? Or, rather, just Tobias. She can't register an emotional response to death, but she can imprint on a L.O.? Something doesn't add up here. 

Anyway, Christina and Will are totally weirded out by super bubbly Tris and Four gives her the cold shoulder--which totally stings. She can't imagine why he can't acknowledge her--not like he's her instructor, or anything crazy like that. Hopes dashed, she jumps straight to the insecurities:

"What did I expect? Just because we kissed it doesn't mean anything changed. Maybe he's changed his mind about liking me. Maybe he thinks kissing me was a mistake."

Again, I didn't test Candor, because this is duplicable as can be--but wow, silly thoughts right before a final evaluation, wouldn't you say? I know that the teenage mind is one that is quick to make assumptions, but it's a fault of hormones. Doesn't make it anymore fun to read. I feel bad for all the boys that had to read through erratic teenage girl reasoning.  (And even worse reading through the makeout-scenes)

She goes through one of the instructor's fear landscapes, facing a kidnapping fear. Tobias pulls her out prematurely because he doesn't want any secrets to be found out and he snaps at her in front of the class. Hurt, she slaps him and storms out, and the relationships problems start before the relationship.

Chapter Twenty-Six

After the fear landscape the pretty-much-a-couple head down to the river's edge to talk about fears and life and romantic things. Early on, Four dismays how he hasn't been able to conquer any of his fears in two years and Tris says, "You can't be fearless, right? Because you still care about things. About your life."

Going back to the Tao Te Ching like I so often do, there's a large focus on how hold attachments will lead ultimate unfulfillment. In chapter thirteen there's a blurb that I think melds well with Abnegation

"What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear?

Hope and fear are both phantoms

that arise from thinking of the self.

When we don't see the self as self,

what do we have to fear?"

Now, the first thought to follow this is, "Well, if you believe the Tao Te Ching, why weren't you Abnegation, miss Erudite?" To which I can only assert my imperfection on my way to enlightenment  and point out the fine line between abnegation reasoning and Taoist reasoning. Those in the faction forget themselves because they are pressured to. They believe selfishness will lead to ruin while Taoism asserts that we can only understand things as they naturally present themselves--that there is a balance, a harmony, between human faults and letting go of our flaws and our talents and simply being.

I think this is where Abnegation stands to fail: they forget themselves because they are supposed to, which means they are still thinking of conforming, which is a selfish thought. We cannot focus on human rules and forget our human traits. Chapter thirteen of the Tao Te Ching isn't about forgetting yourself, but seeing beyond yourself--which, is something that could help out everyone in the text if they learned it; but that's why they call it enlightenment, after all.

This is what kept my attention through the majority of the chapter, not the mushy, "I don't care if you're not pretty" lines that Tobias spouts, which, to me, are clearly something for female readers to connect to and swoon for. This book just caused a lot of introspection on my behalf. They speak of their fears, and their values, and there is a confession and a first kiss. They kiss for several minutes by the roaring water and Tris alludes to the fact that she thinks that they are soul mates.

Gross. Hasty. Gross.

Chapter Twenty-Five

In this chapter the misfit transfers, now one less in number, throw newspapers in the chasm where Al once stood. Tris muses over whether or not it was an agonizing decision, or a simple one--things that she'll never know. They all got symbolic tattoos, though Christina and Will's are not mentioned. In the face of the death of a friend--or something close to a friend--she embraces her Abnegation, inching a step closer to accepting her Divergence. 

Forgive me for being vague, but as previously stated, not a big fan of Fourtris. :I And this chapter is pretty much aaaaaall romantic soul searching. She follows Four up to the fear landscape and goes through his simulation with him--though, personally, shooting up together with a guy to be inside his head is a little... Hm. She goes through his four fears, which, surprise, surprise, is what his name is derived from: heights, claustrophobia, shooting his mother, and being abused by his father.

Through all of this they say some mushy things blah blah and all the reader's assumptions that Four and Tobias are one in the same are confirmed! One thing I do have to give Tris props for during their gross romantic journey through Four's fears (maybe they should try a picnic or a movie or something sometimes) is her defence against his father. Parental figures can be scary with or without an iron fist and the children are often submissive by nature to those that brought them into the world. Stepping in and taking a blow for him--that was pretty cool. 

"He looks years older; he looks years younger. He throws his arms up to protect his face, jumping back."

I just... Liked the way Roth described this I guess--it made it seem like an earnest fear. Just a good sentence.

Chapter Twenty-Four

In this chapter Al commits suicide. Tris' descriptions through the entire chapter are sporadic, as would be her  emotions at the time and the text has a generally solemn feeling. I'm not sure how much of that is a reader's intuitive response, but either way it was a nice effect for the heaviness of the situation. This is a pretty distinct chapter: Tris wakes up > Al is dead > They throw a funeral > Tris struggles, so I'm just going to focus on analyzing a couple of quotes in this entry.

"That is death--shifting from 'is' to 'was'."

Her description of death isn't emotional in anyway, and I think it's because she hasn't experience death close to her before--she's detaching like an Erudite. 

"Stupid. I don't know why people try to make death seem like sleep. It isn't. It isn't."

Tris is angry at Al's death, and I don't think--at least at this juncture-- she'll move much beyond that stage. I don't think it's in Abnegation blood to accept death, but to blame themselves forever. This disrupts the five stages of grief--it disrupts human nature, as do the presence of factions.

"Pride is what killed Al. It is the flaw in every Dauntless heart. It is in mine."

Tris' quick and proud response to Al's sorry repentance is what pushed him over the edge. We watched him break down through Tris' eyes throughout the entirety of initiation, but she was the straw that broke the camel's back. She calls him a coward--to which I don't entirely disagree--but she's covering guilt. 

"Four wasn't trying to persuade me to give up. He was reminding why I couldn't--I had to protect Al. The thought makes me ache now."

Aaaaaaand some realization. Tris isn't entirely responsible, but she withheld her forgiveness, leaving business unfinished between them; this is probably the worst feeling a human can know. Loose ends are the most strangling.

Now, I'm all for comfort but the fact that there was romantic development during Al's funeral just felt a little dirty to me. Mourning time is for mourning, not mooning.

Chapter Twenty-three

I understand that most books won't sell without romance these days, and not many ever did, but I just... Can't get into Tris and Four's relationship. Their flirting is incredibly weird, and they know each other for about a month before they're together. I just feel like it's sort of rushed and too much in detail (but I'll complain about that later) for the situation they face; but, that aside, his chapter has formal relationship development. She sleeps in his bed that night and they have a banter in the morning before she explains what happened to Christina and Will.

Drew is in bad shape and Peter refuses to look at anyone. Four is rather pointed, and maybe a bit jealous throughout the day though he has only known Tris for you know, three weeks, and is her teacher--but no judgement or anything. He shows them the fear landscape which will serve as a room for their final evaluation  (which might be a bit less painful than writing 20 blogs in one night like a certain Cheyenne Moore, but I brought that upon myself). He explains just a  bit, but it's basically like the previous simulations on steroids.

Al attempts to apologize to Tris for what he's done, clearly quite beat up over what he's one.

"Somewhere inside me is a merciful, forgiving person. Somewhere there is a girl who tries to understand what people are going through, who accepts that people do evil things and that desperation leads them to darker places than they ever imagined. I swear she exists, and she hurts for the repentant boy I see in front of me.
But if I saw her, I wouldn't recognize her."

Tris recognizes all these things as fact, as truths--yet she chooses to disregard them. I can't say I would act differently the day after, but Tris basically turns her nose up to these validations and chooses the bitter path instead, which, in the end always ends up hurting more. Those who cannot forgive tresspasses done unto them will lead unhappy lives; and Tris has racked up so bad mojo.

She validates herself by separating herself into different Trises but in truth she just refuses to accept all the areas of her personality so she doesn't have to be held accountable to her natural traits. 

Chapter Twenty-Two

When Tris wakes up Four is trying to clean her up and she asks about the boys that attacked her. He informs her that Peter and Al bolted but that Drew won't be walking straight for sometime and she loves that idea. I can validate her since they did almost kill her; but I still like Peter! No one can deter me. We hear a bit about what Four's room looks like: very plain, and apparently he holds some religious ties. Cool, cool. His Abnegation started showing more and more at this point.

He warns Tris to fall under the radar, just as her mother did, so that she won't be seen as a threat; a bit of trained Dauntless wisdom, but she takes it easier from Four. Figures, attractive boys > mothers.

"'But please, when you see an opportunity...' He presses his palm to my cheek, cold and strong, and tilts my head so I  have to look at him. His eyes glint. They almost look predatory. 'Ruin them.'"

Okay I know every other girl in class is drooling over Four, but um, creepy? I never took much to our dear Tobias, and personally I don't find their relationship built on much. It's parts like this, where he speaks coldly, or when Tris is overcome with anger or thirst for suffering that I wonder if we're just talking about Divergent individuals or erratic character development. Just my two cents. 

Neither Tris nor Four stay very solid in their words and behavior, and it's an up and down battle; though I didn't notice until I was trying to pick the novel apart.

Twenty-One

This chapter is a really tense one emotion wise! Rankings are posted for their current positions—Eric’s idea, I’m sure, and Tris is in first. Peter is far from happy, but everyone else suddenly feels threatened, too. I get that Peter does bad things, but when you think about it, he’s really the only one that views Tris as strong enough to pose a threat. He doesn’t see her as a child, he sees her as competition, and in a way that’s something kind of special since Al, Will, and Christina have all called her “little girl” at different times.  Peter is the only one who can look past her appearance and see the flames of Dauntless licking at her heels and he’s scared of it.

Will and Al try to question Tris’ intentions after Peter’s comments but she assures them that she’s their friend.  She can’t help her score—and this is true of life, as well. Sometimes people are just a bit quicker than others in some fields;  this, in itself, doesn’t make them arrogant, but they cannot control it when others compare themselves to them. Anyone who leads the pack in any field, regardless of the nature of the activity will be envied—that’s just how people work. Unfortunately, the price of being envied in the Dauntless compound might just be an optical organ.

She overhears Eric talking to some lady about finding “them” which can be inferred as Divergent, but our attention is quickly stolen by some kidnappers that grab Tris and drag her off to the chasm, Al included.

Okay, this is why I can validate liking Peter but not Al:

Peter is smart; he is systematic, he sees things for what they are. Sure, he might be a douche about it, but whatever, that’s true to the way we can assume he was raised. Al let’s himself be destroyed by Dauntless initiation. He becomes bad; losing yourself out of cowardice is much more disgusting than being born of bitterness.

Tl;dr: Al kind of sucks. At least Peter was always mean.

She smells his lemon-y scent and he backhands her before Peter dangles her over the chasm. If Four wasn’t out for a midnight stroll she could have died. The boys scatter, Al still sucks, and Four comes to the rescue. “I press my face into his shoulder and there is a sudden hollow silence.”

Something about this line was just relaxing—a good way to end it to match with an exhausted mindset. 

Chapter Twenty

This chapter focuses on Tris' divergence. She faces the simulation again, this time, to conquer a fear of drowning--but also a fear of humility. She is encased in a tank and forced to drown in front of a passive-faced Dauntless born and transfer initiates. The family that is meant to accept her and embrace her now shuns her and watches her fall. In which, I see some major foreshadowing to a certain mindless movement.

Anyway, Tris gets ahold of herself, remembering that she is in a simulation and manipulates the result. She pounds on the glass and it breaks—she neither calms down nor faces her fear, she, instead, avoids it.  “I’m not trying to get their attention anymore, I’m trying to break the glass. I am frantic, desperate, to get out. I raise my fist and slap it against the wall as hard as I again, over and over again.” Chapter 22 of the Tao Te Ching strongly insists that too much offense will not gain a person anything—that peace of mind is achieved through both letting go and surrendering, but this isn’t something Tris knows. Regardless of religion I think there’s truth in,

“If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.”

Constantly taking or giving will leave someone exhausted, distraught—it will destroy a human being, and this is something that I think is shown quite nicely throughout the first and second book. Anyway, back to the chapter at hand: Four accuses her of Divergence immediately and she can hardly lie. He says he’ll hide her simulation result but warns of her the dangerous gift she possesses.

Though I didn’t test as Divergent in our class ranking, I am a lucid dreamer, so I know how Tris feels to a large extent. Nothing sucks worse than being able to feel what isn’t necessarily possible, and I wouldn’t be one to go barging into it either.

Hurt by his abruptness and seeking answers, Tris goes to Tori and asks her about Divergence. We learn that George Wu, a former transfer was whacked for his Divergent abilities, though it made him a better fighter and more fearless than most. She warns Tris to be on her toes--that she is being watched. And, thus, the plot thickens.

Chapter Nineteen

In this chapter Tris cuts loose a little more, that is, after tensing up. Peter has an Erudite newspaper that criticizes her parents and he refuses to stop reading until she stomps on his bare foot. She lunges at Molly but is dragged off by Will who reminds her where her loyalties now lie. After which the gang of misfit initiates take her out to loosen up; she gets another tattoo and Four absolutely loves it.

And, for once, he tells her straight out. Though it's still a little creepy since he's drunk during his slurred compliments, but Tris probably wouldn't respond well if it wasn't weird. Al swoops her up like a sack of potatoes and runs her back to the dining hall--his jealousy obvious. Will starts to tease her and she smacks him and the scene sort of fades into her reflecting on the differences in her life.

"I have never been carried by a large boy before, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamour of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free."

I disagree. 

Freedom is not chaos, freedom is something exists within a person. Even when one is restrained, one can let go--one can be free; even in discord one can be tethered, one can be restrained. These are subjective. Peace is something different altogether--something both eternal and internal. 

Chapter Eighteen

Enter the fear simulations! I think Roth just borders the line where serums are a bit too heavily used, but she doesn't go over. And, as we said in class, it's an efficient way of testing the initiates. Several initiates are called into a room before Tris but no one has any idea what's going on until it's their turn. When it's Tris' time we get to get up close and personal with her deepest fears, after a quick injection. The objective of the exercise is not to eliminate your fear, but to suppress it and control it, which Tris does slowly.

It starts with a very quiet and saturated field. In the horizon she sees birds and, boy, do those birds see her. Within minutes Tris is covered in crows that are trying to claw her to bits.

"I scream and sob, insensible, illogical. I am dying; I am dying; I am dying. 
My skin sears and I bleeding and the squawking is so loud my ears are ringing, but I am not dying, and I remember that this isn't real; but it feels real, it feels so real. I call out for him, inhaling feathers, exhaling, 'Help!' But help will not come; I am alone."

This is a prime example of how Roth writes in the moment, almost like a stream of consciousness, which I both love and hate.

Tris proceeds to bite the head off a crow and then knock the others off. Eventually she conquers her fear and she wakes up, and when does she's hysteric. She cries and thrashes and Four does his best to console her in a weird bad-timing flirty kind of way. 

Chapter Seventeen

A few years ago a student in our school committed suicide. I didn't particularly know the boy, but I was actually rather strongly affected by it. It was simply the response to a death of someone close enough to my position in life to make it feel like it had been laid at my feet as well. Edward didn't die, but with the view of the factionless, he may as well have. I think I know the listless feeling Tris feels in this chapter more than I would like.

Uriah finds her introspecting in a hallway and he apologies for the loss, but offers her a distraction, which, she of course takes. We meet his brother, the same age as Four, and several other Dauntless born initiates.  They head out of the compound to an old building that really exists and they all pile into an elevator straight to the top. From a thousand feet in the air they zipline down across the city entirely on faith.

This was another chapter that I think will translate into some really pretty cinematography, but more importantly, represents Tris' real acceptance into the Dauntless family. "In order to get down, I have to trust them to catch me. I have to accept that these people are mine and I am theirs. This is a greater act of bravery than sliding down the zipline."

Ooooooooooh, I couldn't possible like the way that it was put more than that. Claps for Veronica Roth.

Chapter Sixteen

This chapter is where Al develops. His parents came to visit him but he hid away from them, though Tris can't imagine why. He explains that there was a pressure to transfer and his own personal beliefs that lead him to transfer. He believes bravery lies in protecting others, not senselessly beating one another; aw, this was kind of cute. It'd be even cuter if he wasn't so dumb.

Tris thinks her presence will be soothing to him, but he takes it a bit too far. He lies his arm across her shoulder and she jolts away. Of course, normal flirting weirded her out--she likes, instead, to make eyes at men while they throw knives at her, or when she's several stories in the air. But, you know who am I to judge?

The next day the rankings are posted as follows:
1. Edward
2. Peter
3. Will
4. Christina
5. Molly
6. Tris
7. Drew
8. Al
9. Myra

Tris is right where she's supposed to be, but Molly is angry that her rank dropped on her account. She fears that Molly will try something, and she's half right--but she is not the target. In the middle of the night she hears a thud and wail and when the lights come on Edward has a knife in his eye. He's screaming and writhing in pain and she describes it as a "halo of blood" has gathered around his head. I thought that was an interesting way to put it, and it was actually kind of pretty in my head--but in a weird grotesquely pretty kind of way. I hope that they have an artsy way of filming this part in the movie. 

In the end, the doctor comes and takes him away and Tris stays on her hands and knees cleaning his blood from the floor. The next day is tense and awkward for all the initiates but Will and Tris make some bad jokes and end up laughing because, "sometimes laughing and crying are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now." I'd rather not elaborate too much on the personal feelings I have to this quote, but I think there's nary a person who doesn't affiliate with such a statement.

By the chapter's close Edward and Myra have left to become Factionless, Peter is first, and Al is saved from being cut. 

Chapter Fifteen

The more blogs I write the more I like Peter. Ugh, such confliction! But I liked Shane from TWD, too. I suppose I see redemption in the characters everyone loves to hate. I think there's going to be some maaaaaaajor Peter development in Allegient, and I'm super excited.

Anyway, in this chapter visiting day is upon them! All the families are allowed to see their children one last time and the majority of the famlies show up. Not Peter's though. He's alone and against the wall and Tris laughs at that. I agree, Peter's a jerk, but ouch, that kind of hurt a little. It really shows a transition in Tris when she can find rejoice in such an awful thing.

More importantly, Natalie Prior comes and pulls her daughter aside. She's not surprised by the Dauntless head quarters, but instead she pulls Tris aside and asks he very informed questions. She finds out that her daughter is Divergent and states that there's a strangely large amount of Divergent Abnegation children. She warns Tris to stay in the middle of the ranks and to give a message to Caleb. She tells Tris that she loves her very much and she goes on her way.

"I stand alone in the blue light coming from the lamp above me and I understand:
My mother was Dauntless."

Blue is a color associated with knowledge and truth, and also the Erudite, but I already commented on that. I  think Roth knew to some extent what this color means in a theoretical sense and explained this as shown on purpose. Not only is a secret coming to "light" but it's also a hidden truth. Very cool, I liked this line.

Chapter Fourteen

They say children are cruel, and this chapter proves that. Tris apparently is totally blind to the changes in her body and gained some mega-muscle ultra fast in order not notice the transition until her pants no longer fit, but you know, her priorities are weird. Without pants that she can wear she heads back to the barracks to grab the dress Christina told her to buy. The goon twins and puppy Peter are ready and waiting to do some good old fashioned bullying. Pulling her towel away the expose Tris and she rockets off to get dress. She cries, but she is filled with hatred and anger as a result. "I want to hurt them. I want, so I do."
And here we goooo. Tris breaks her Abnegation lifestyle more than ever in this moment. She indulges herself, but as she will learn--revenge isn't all the fufilling.

 I still insist that Peter is a misunderstood puppy type and upon refreshing the chapter I noticed that Peter makes the comment, "This isn't the hub, stuff. We don't have to listen to you here." Peter's from Candor, and spoiler--his father isn't in the picture. I'm not sure beyond that point, but I wonder if it has to do with Abnegation rule or maybe transfer later in life? I don't know, but he's got a major beef with Abnegation and I think his character is deeper than, "Wow, abnegation is really lame."

After the incident they go fighitng and she demolishes Molly, fueled by skill and anger and she practically has to be dragged off. This is an ugly side of Tris, but I think it'll look pretty cool in the movie. 

Chapter Thirteen

Another rather famous scene! The knife throwing adventure. In this chapter Eric’s got bitter all over his face. His pride has been deeply injured by their lost and he’s obviously not the most pleasant person when practice rolls around. Being his lovely sunshiney self he gets rather upset when Al positively awful and knife throwing.  He tells him to collect his knives in the middle of throwing and the big teddy bear refuses. He, personally, doesn’t think bravery means risking your life for stupid causes, and for once, I agree with Al. Disclaimer: I don’t like Al.

Eric then gets more angry and demands that he stand as a target but Tris takes his place. She wants to help her friend (though he totally becomes an ultra jerk in return) and so she puts her life on the line. This is the start of a very long (and annoying) pattern of selfless actions that pretty much show that Tris doesn’t value her own life whatsoever. Four throws the knives, knicking her ear with the last shot, on purpose. Again, their flirting is in pretty weird and uncomfortable ways if you ask me—but, eh, to each their own.

Afterward Eric makes a little speech and Tris says, “The look he gives me claims me, like he’s taking ownership of what I did. I don’t return Eric’s smile. What I did had nothing to with him.”

Forgive me for bringing a religious opinion in but the 17th verse of the Tao Te Ching was what came to mind when I read it.

When the Master governs, the people
are hardly aware that he exists.
Next best is a leader who is loved.
Next, one who is feared.
The worst is one who is despised.

If you don't trust the people,
you make them untrustworthy.

The Master doesn't talk, he acts.
When his work is done,
the people say, "Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!"

I just sort of struck me then  that Four is the type of person Taoist strive to be like, as much as he can, and Eric is the opposite. Most Erudites are, in fact—but because of that, it just sort of stood out to me how Eric responded to Tris’ acts, I suppose.

Chapter Twelve

Chapters twelve! The fan favorite paint ball match! We discussed this one pretty heavily in class so

I haven’t much to say that hasn’t already been said. I thought this was one of the coolest parts of the book and we saw Four and Eric more clearly than in previous chapters, in my opinion. Eric, offensive to a fault, chooses all the strongest fighters and most ruthless players. He opts for an intimidating team while Four chooses a variety of initiates and the underdogs, so to speak. And of course, he picks Tris because of his weird instructor crush that really comes out during this.

In a game of paintball/capture the flag the initiates are mixed for the first time, and they meet pretty much like oil and water. Tris pulls back away from them, seeking higher ground with a more intelligent strategy. Her Erudite is showing, and Eric’s is nonexistent in this chapter! Four follows her and there’s an awkward sort of flirting exchange while they scale a broken Ferris Wheel and risk certain death—but, you know, whatever trips their triggers, I suppose.

In the end, we learn that Four is scared of heights, Tris needs to get her priorities straight (boys come after you know, not dying) and that the opposite team sort of sucks and hiding their flag. After nearly being crushed underneath a passenger car, she reports her finding and they go running off to surprise the other team. Tris wants to be the one to grab the flag, since she was the one that found their hiding place, but Christina’s limbs are longer. She grabs it after telling Tris that she’s already had her moment, and for a moment Tris is incredibly jealous.

It’s just as well, though. The Dauntless born take more of a liking toward Tris anyway, and we formally are introduced to Uriah and Marlene, both which are incredibly important later on. This is Tris’ first taste of acceptance.  In her head she thinks, “It’s been years since I’ve jumped of the building in my Abnegation uniform; it has been decades.” This sentence kind of punches you in the face, probably because Victoria Roth doesn’t believe in semi-colons—but I like the emphatic effect a lot.

I noticed that the paint they used was pink, which doesn’t fall into any of the factions; another sort of symbolic color reference? I’m not totally sure, but I think you can find symbolism in anything if you dig hard enough. 

Chapter Eleven

Chapter eleven shows us Tris’ reactions to her first fight and miserable loss. Of course, Peter, who is twice her size, would have won at this juncture; no one has had enough time to become skillful (with the exception of Edward) and right now everyone is relying on natural physical endowment—of which, Tris Prior has none. She wakes feeling pretty awful, with which I can affiliate with, not from fist fights, but while learning certain dance moves last year I took a few awful tumbles. Not a fun time.

The motif of reflections surfaces again as Tris examines herself in the mirror, or rather, the girl she sees. She views herself as a separate entity than the bruised and battered blonde that she sees in the glass, though it doesn’t give description of what she should be; only what she is not. She is not a bruised girl, she does not let her hang back, she doesn’t have split lips—so on, and so forth. She’s dissociating herself because she does not belong in Dauntless any more than she did in Abnegation, or than she would in Erudite. She is divergent, yet she does not want to admit nor embrace this fact, leaving her reflections to be lacking for she only views the outside of her face at this juncture, refusing to look deeper.

Together the Dauntless initiates pack up and head to the city fence to talk about faction jobs, including gate patrol. Amity lies just outside and Tris happens to see a ghost of her past—Robert, the boy she most likely would have married had they both stayed in their grey landscapes. He hugs her and they speak briefly and we see that Tris’ speech has become hostile and sharp. She’s defensive with pretty much everyone because she feels that no one believes that she can survive initiation, that she is too small, too handicapped to succeed. I have handicaps of my own, more of circumstance than anything else, so I understand Tris’ frustration, but she really doesn’t hide it well. This was the first chapter where I felt a bit… “Eh,” toward her. This isn’t entirely odd of me, if a story is in first person I usually come to dislike them—they tend to be flatter in my opinion, and after reading the second book, I wouldn’t exactly call Tris flat… But messy. Not a real complaint, still a great book, and if you read it for a while you stop noticing, but when I come back to write blogs I notice little irksome qualities.

I digress.

Tris tells Robert in a rather condescending way, “My goal in life isn’t to just be… Happy.”

And he retorts gently, “Wouldn’t it be easier if it was?”

I don’t have anything in particular to say about this one, only that I’ve heard a life lived in pursuit of anything but happiness is a dark and empty one; I wonder if Tris will come to realize this and whether or not that would be good or bad.

Chapter Ten

Chapter ten holds a lot of descriptions of Peter, a character with whom I have a love-hate relationship. The blind-reader in me dislikes him, and the personality type that I fall under would hardly be a fan, but I see something much deeper in his character. Bullies bully for a reason, after all. He picks on Tris,  getting Drew and Molly to be his lackeys in defacing her bed. He feels threatened by Tris, that much is obvious, which I think is a very cute weakness (though, he needs to manage it better for sure, lil' on the crazy side, there).

In this chapter, Peter and Tris fight, and the result is brutal. He beats her with no regard for her gender or her stature--which is nice in a way. He doesn't treat Tris like she's weak; in fact, I think he's the only character that recognizes just how strong she is in truth. He tries to cripple that, because like I said, lil' cray, but you know, the sentiment still remains.

At the start she mentions that. "It's hard to believe I could hate someone who looks so kind--his eyebrows turn upward naturally, and he has a wide, white smile." I'm trying to with alllll my heart and soul see the redeeming factors in Peter because there's something archaic about his character. I really really like him, and I don't want to be unvalidated in that.

I'm riding on daddy issues 100%.

Chapter Nine

The fighting begins and tensions are high. Al and Will go up against each other and the result is obvious, though the gentle giant feels a great deal of guilt. The next significant fight is between Christina and Molly, which the prior loses terribly. In fact, she surrenders, which gets Eric fired up and roaring about Dauntless behavior.

Christina then has to make a choice to between two fates: Factionless life, or possible death by dangling over the chasm for 5 minutes. She chooses the latter which left me to wonder just what these children were told about that fate in life. Of course, it's not a comfortable life, and the is a strong stigma associated with the Factionless, but personally, dying doesn't sound too hot. The devotion to the factions is made quite apparent through small things like that, and it makes me wonder what the timestamp on Divergent might be.

"She must choose between living factionless and death

"Fine," she says."

Forgive the redundence, but it shocked me that she had no hesitation, while Tris expressed her own likelihood to do so. I think Tris sees more of the flaws in their system, yet is unable articulate it unless under the pressure of factionless or death situations. Al gets brave and stands up to Eric and hauls Christina over the edge after five agonizing minutes. In this moment I liked Al an awful lot! Like, wow, what a brooo; for now, anyway.

The kids all become closer and Tris awaits her fight--which, obviously will go in her favor.

Chapter Eight

In this chapter official training begins bright and early, and the first lesson is how to fire a gun. Peter is targeted for his arrogance, and Tris makes another eye observation. Peter's eyes are a deep green, narrow, and sharp. Green, to me, is sort of an in between brown and blue when it comes to eye color, even though down to a phylogenetic sense I don't believe it is. I think that's interesting, and almost gives the impression that Peter will lie between two extremes--fancy that.

Will also gets his name in his chapter, and his lightly teasing nature is introduced. In essence, Tris learns that she does better when challenged to do well by others underestimating her. Through instigation she tends to rise to a benchmark, but it gives the impression that Tris feels the need to succeed because of others rather than herself, which I think is a bit of her Abnegation inclination. She makes her first group of friends... Ever, consisting of Al, Christina, and Will, and finally she lives like a self-serving human being.

After a bit of combat practice and a subtle "chemistry" lesson from Four they decide to get tattoos, though Tris is apprehensive. In the end, she decides on three ravens, which start her connection to birds--something that becomes significant later on. 

"I touch my collar bone, following the path of their flight straight to my heart. Three, one for every family member left behind."

Anyone who knows me well knows that familial bonds in stories get to me, and I thought this was really touching. I absolutely adore her connection her family, especially now, as the chapters go on, and she becomes more emotionally aware.

Chapter Seven

Being the first to jump gains Beatrice-turned-Tris some notoriety around the compound, but not after a tour with Four! The initiates split up, the Dauntless to their own respective quarters, and the transfers to their look-see of their new home. The use of color I think is significant throughout the book, since factions define themselves with their dress. There are blue lanterns overhead. Blue provides a calming effect, as the Erudite will confirm, so it struck me as odd during my first reading that their light source would be blue. The living quarters are underground on top of that, so a brighter color would be ideal to prevent depression--but then again, I've studied color theory a bit too much in depth.

They go through the mechanics of training, Christina sticks with Tris, and she experiences her first hamburger. Four shows a kind and intimidating side all the same time, particularly to Christina. He's stern and collected, a cool sort of character, and Eric, the opposite, an erratic and unpredictable (or at least, seemingly so) character is introduced. The two exist juxtaposed but on two very different ends of a spectrum, and everyone can pick up on the tension between the two coaches.

When it comes time for bed Tris' descriptions delve into a more emotional aspect of her soon to be training experience. She longs for home, and she cries, but quietly and to herself. Al is shown as vulnerable from the start, and Tris' distaste for such a quality is gently asserted by the way she ignores and blocks him out. She must be brave and strong, and tears will hardly help her through, she figures.

I know why now, but I noticed that Tris' stronger bond seems to be with her mother. This is true for many girls, I'm sure, but there's a noticeable rift between her stern father and herself that is practically chasm worthy. She mentions her father second, if at all, and tends to feel guilt when she does. Tris struggles to understand her feelings toward her parents, lost in a sort of ego-selfishness, going as far as to say, "My problem might be that even if I did go home, I wouldn't belong there, among people who give without thinking and care without trying," alienating herself, once again, despite her subtle natural tendency. 

But she decides to worry about that at some later date. Systematic, as her Divergence inclines to be, she makes the choice to focus on making it among the ranks and proving Eric wrong; she will be Dauntless.

Chapter Six

The first stage of Dauntless initiation begins with jumping on a moving train, something that an Erudite boy is unable to do. Roth uses short sentences when discussing the Factionless, leaving a sort of uneasy staccato feel with the reader. Just little things like that help flesh out the factions in a subconscious way. She uses similar blunt descriptions with the Candor, and rather bland ones with the Abnegation. Of course, since Beatrice has always admired the Dauntless she uses more illustrative language to explain them, and I think it leads a lot of readers to have an inclination toward them. Several people wanted to be Dauntless in our class,  for example, while fewer wanted to be in Abnegation (minus our invariably kind students, bless their hearts) and none wanted to be Candor. In Divergent the Candor don't play a huge role, and she doesn't speak about them much, so I this it discerns the reader in caring too much for them. 

As someone who's read the second book, the Candor are pretty cool in my opinion! And their leader is a total bro, just FYI. (He is also Korean, but that's besides the point, of course).

Anyway, getting off the tangent, through this stage of initiation we meet Christina and Will for the first time, though the latter lacks a name. They're all faction transfers so they sort of polarize to one another and the hop out onto the roof. Another one bites the dust, and Beatrice must witness death for the first time. She handles it fairly well with a counting method that returns later on, logical and detached--awfully Erudite of her. Peter's first act of bullying comes, and a budding rivalry comes to play.

Beatrice doesn't fight back with words, though called a "stiff" and instead shows him with actions that she's brave. Beatrice jumps first, of a three or more story building with only a few moments of hesitation. She leaves behind her over shirt, exposing her skin, and she also leaves behind her name. In that moment, she becomes Tris, the protagonist that we have all come to know and love. She plunges--quite literally--into Dauntless life, and the fall itself represent new beginnings.

We also meet Four for the first time and Beatrice makes observation of his eyes--also a dark blue, but this one isn't strange to her, instead it is dreamy, sleepy, and curious. Fancy how a young girl can observe two of the same and prefer it in a handsome young man, but no judgement of course.

Moving back to Caleb, like I so often do, Beatrice makes a comment, 

"The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach, because even though I left them too, at least I was no good at pretending. At least they knew I wasn't selfless. I close my eyes and imagine my mother and father at the dinner table in silence. It is a lingering hint of selflessness that makes my throat tighten at the thought of them, or is it selfishness because I know I will never be their daughter again?"

Broken down, we see Beatrice's first feelings of resentment toward her brother, whom she previously idolized, something that becomes prevalent later on, and how devoutly she believed her father about the Erudite. She views Caleb as a traitor, and also feels betrayed; or so she thinks. I would argue that the scope of human emotion has been skewed in its teaching in this world. Rather than simply missing her family, or feel sorry out of love, she feels it out of "selflessness" and "selfishness" which are words inappropriately placed. I figure it's the same for the other factions--Candor or otherwise--as they all have some sort of blinders on their vision. I'm sure Caleb had lingering attachments as well that he deemed logical and illogical, and that Christina felt proud of her honest choice, but also guilty for living a life of lies. 

The fact of the matter is their perception of human emotion is shaped almost entirely by their faction affiliation  but I suppose it makes sense, after all, "Faction before blood."